Well. Hi There. How’ve you been?

Me? Oh, I’ve been really shitty, thanks for asking! Brace yourself, this is a long one. I don’t blame you if you don’t read it all.

Ethan is having a tough time at summer camp. I’ve already mentioned his change in attitude and behavior. He’s been sent to the office a few times, usually near the end of the day, and we’ve done something like taken his DS away for a day and he’s shaped up.

Monday and Tuesday, James had some stuff going on, so I was on my own for both nights.

Monday, I got to the kids’ school at about 5pm, thinking about what I could do with them. It was pretty hot, so I was thinking maybe we could head to the pool, or maybe stop somewhere fun for dinner, like California Tortilla. I had just bought a couple of board games and maybe the three of us could play some. I was in a great mood, looking forward to spending some fun time with my kids, just me and them.

I walked in the school and saw Ethan sitting in the office. He saw me and gave me his grumpiest face.

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At our kids’ school, they have “summer camp.”

For the preschool kids, this entails some fun, at-school activities each day. There’s “Imagination Station,” “Splash Day”, “Movie Day,” etc. For the school age kids, this means they actually get to GO places.

Monday = Roller Skating
Tuesday = Mini Golf
Wednesday = Pool
Thursday = Bowling
Friday = Big Event (at the school)

It also means that for the first time, Ethan isn’t just in a class with kids his own age. The summer campers range all the way up to 12 years old, and while they are separated a bit (he’s a “Jr” camper, older kids are “Sr.” campers), he still is interacting with older kids quite a bit.

Pretty early on into summer camp, he’s turned into …. well, a cynical teenager, is the best way I can put it. The excitement that little kids get over normal every day things (like seeing a train, or getting ice cream after dinner, or picking raspberries) is no more. Phrases like, “I’m SO BORED,” and “There’s nothing TO DOOOO,” “I just wish I could watch TV,” are common place around our house now.

Which is fine. Yes, it sucks that my little boy is growing up and the little kid excitement over everything is mostly evaporated, but what is NOT fine, is the rude, snotty little brat that has suddenly moved in.

Suddenly, he can’t bother to ask someone to move out of his way nicely, he hollers, “MOVE IT!” and tries to shove his way in. If someone accidently bumps him, there’s no leeway, it’s an immediate, “HEY! You bumped me!”

If one suggests an activity he might try, his response is probably, “That’s so BORING. I HATE that.”

If one tries to warn him that rude snotty behavior might result in a new favorite toy being taken away, he simply hollers, “I don’t CARE, I don’t even LIKE my nerf gun!” (despite all evidence to the contrary!)

We actually completely took away a tv show that he and Jocelyn had been watching. “Ben 10” is a kid who has this watch that turns him into different aliens when he slaps it. He runs around with his sister? cousin? and his uncle, and fights aliens. He’s usually pretty rude, thinks he is the greatest thing on earth, and everyone else can go jump in a lake. By the end of the show, sometimes he’s learned some “lesson” that puts his ego in check, but the fact remained that my son was spending 20 minutes watching some kid being totally rude and snotty and it wasn’t helping our household any. After some smartass incident we said that’s it, we’re done with Ben 10.

Taking his Nintendo DS away usually made him toe the line pretty quickly, but unfortunately, it was lost/stolen (oh don’t get me and james started on THAT!) about a week and a half ago.

I find it especially taxing because no matter how nice I try to make things and how excited Ethan was about it, the minute I say “no” to something, it’s like I am a mean wart-hog of a mother who does nothing but plot all day long on how to ruin his life. I could take him to the pool for 3 hours, order pizza, stop and get ice cream on the way home, and then say “no TV”, and I am the evil snow queen of narnia who never lets christmas come. And the worst thing is it’s all rubbing off on Jocelyn.

This morning was fairly unpleasant. It all started when instead of making him bread, butter and honey on his favorite WHITE bread, I made it on whole wheat bread. This tipped off a whole exchange with his daddy on brushing his teeth and the amount of toothpaste on his toothbrush, and ended with him sitting on the stairs in time out (where he no doubt rolled his eyes a lot, and sighed with extreme angst over and over).

I let him cool it there for a while and then finally went over and talked to him. I tried to think of some consequences that would make him shape up (the earlier mentioned nerf gun being taken away).

I tried to threaten with not letting him go with the campers to the pool tomorrow, with little affect. (Pool day is his FAVORITE day.)

Even though he had this shield of bravado and ennui up and was deflecting my every word, I could see his eyes were welling up with tears. I could see how this summer, he’s a small kid suddenly thrust into a big kid world and he’s just trying to see how he fits into it.

I sat there silently a minute, thinking.

“Ethan, you can either give me a hug and we can snuggle a minute and I can try to help you feel better, and then you can apologize to daddy and we can go on about our day, or you can sit here and pout and be rude some more and you won’t be getting anywhere.”

He turned around and said, “Snuggie!!” (which is what he and Jocelyn say for “snuggle”) in his “i’m being so cute” voice, flung himself at me and tried to reform his body to fit into mine.

When we got to school, I talked with his kindergarten teacher (who is the summer camp coordinator) who confirmed what I was feeling, and also said that he is probably exhausted, both physically and mentally, and that all this unstructured time can be telling on a kid his age.

We have 3 weeks left of summer camp, and then we are moving both kids to another daycare, closer to home and closer to the public school Ethan is attending in the fall. I’m so sad to be leaving the school they’ve been at for so long, but change is also always exciting. The kids across the street from us also go to this school, and I know they’ll be thrilled with that. I’m also worried about the trouble this rudeness may land him into, especially when he starts up in 1st grade, but hopeful that school starting will help alleviate some of this trouble as well (more structured time).

I guess it’s just hard to see you child grow up. (Especially when they grow up into a little snot.)

One of the things we did for James for father’s day was make superman t-shirts. One for daddy (SuperDaddy!), one for Ethan (SuperBoy!) and one for Jocelyn (SuperGirl!).

Ethan didn’t want to wear his on Father’s day, but Jocelyn was more than game. A shot of SuperDAddy and SuperGirl at SuperSweetWaterTavern where the supers get their Father’s day sustenance (not to mention beer).

I also made a print of this image and framed it for James:

It was a nice father’s day, even though near the end I did have to say to James, “I realize it’s father’s day and I should be watching the kids so you can relax and all, but you may have to step in in order to keep me from strangling them.”

In other news, summer camp is in it’s first week, which means lots of fun activities for the kids at school. Ethan usually goes somewhere for a specific activity (bowling, pool, mini golf) in a school van in the morning, and then comes back in the afternoon more open playtime. He is also allowed to take his Nintendo DS to school (which wasn’t allowed during the school year by us or the school) and he usually is playing it when I pick him up.

Wednesday as I was tucking him in to bed, he said, “My neck hurts.” Now, James has been sick for the last three days so I immediately checked his forehead for any signs of fever and felt his glands. All fine.

“Is it inside your neck, like your throat? Or more on the outside, like your muscles?”

“It’s on the outside.”

Hmm. I told him he’d feel better in the morning and left it at that.

Yesterday when I picked him up at school, again, he was playing his DS. I tore him away so he could you know, say Hi or give me a hug or something, and noticed his eyes were red-rimmed and somewhat bloodshot. Suddenly I realized what his “sore neck” was from.

“How long did you play your DS today?” I asked him on the way home.
“A LONG time,” he answered.

We have a gamer-boy on our hands, who has strained neck muscles from hunching over and bloodshot eyes from peering at the screen for who knows how many hours a day.

I told him when we got home, the DS was done for the day. I also stressed the importance of taking BREAKS and that there were LOTS of OTHER things he could do at summer camp, he didn’t have to JUST play his DS all afternoon. I also talked to one of the counselors and asked her to maybe encourage him to do some other things this afternoon. We’ll see.

Gamer-boy.

Saturday recap:

It was a busy weekend. Saturday morning we had Jocelyn’s last soccer game. We all melted into little puddles. Then we went drove over to some air conditioning so the coaches could hand out soccer trophies and the kids could eat cupcakes. Then we went to Target and bought some new pool toys and headed home for lunch and more air conditioning.

When we were ready to brave the heat again, we headed out to Old Town Manassas for their annual train festival.

We heard about it 2 years ago, when we happened to go into town the day AFTER the festival, and then last year we missed it for some reason (probably soccer) so we had it on our calendar and were determined to NOT miss it.

It was hot, and fun. It was under a big pavillion so at least there was shade.

There were about 6 big train layouts and I think Ethan could have stayed there all day.

He didn’t say much, but just kept wandering here and there, eyes never moving from all the trains.

I see lego trains in our future.

Jocelyn was very excited to see one train car with fish in it – She pulled me over to show me, and I was shocked to see that yes, they were real goldfish! We stayed a while, looking at all the layouts and climbing on the old caboose (which is there all the time, not just for the train festival).

Then we headed out to a birthday party/barbeque at one of James’ work friends. They had a kiddy pool and a sprinkler thingee that had a rocket launcher and the kids got their suits on and were in heaven. I let James watch them while I stayed in the blessed air conditioning. The kids and I didn’t get to stay long however, as I had a birthday party to take them too. In retrospect, I should have just RSVPed NO to the party and planned on staying for the BBQ, because they’ve been to about a ZILLION parties in the last 2 months. But oh well.. I’ll know better next time I guess.

Sunday, James took the kids to the pool while I went grocery shopping.

They came back and had lunch and then I took them BACK to the pool, where Ethan finally learned how to hold his breath and go under water! Granted, this was with big goggles, the kind that goes over eyes and nose, but I’ll take it.

He was very VERY excited with his accomplishment and can’t wait to go back to the pool.

Jocelyn escaped with I think a tiny sunburn on her cheeks, Ethan was a bit red on his back and his shoulders, and I got totally roasted on my upper back and shoulders. Ow. Hopefully we all heal before the next time we head back. And next time, I’ll be sunscreening everyone up every HOUR (including myself!)

We have a Code Red on heat here in the DC area until Tuesday. We really were lucky to go as long as we did without the excruciating heat, but summer finally decided to stop looking the other way and blast us with the heat and humidity. Ah well.

Hope everyone’s weekend was good!

So now that I have ostracized all ELEVEN of my readers (i know, a gross exageration) by NOT POSTING A THING FOR WEEKS, let me just slay you know with the WORDS WORDS WORDS!

….. WORDS!

No pictures, either, not even if you beg!

Some assorted thoughts and happenings from my mother’s visit (my dad did not come at the last minute, doh!).
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Every year we usually have the kids’ birthday parties at home or close to home (neighborhood park).

Every year I stress out about a myriad of things.

What activities will we do? Who will come? We need to clean the house! We need to get food & cake & pizza! Oh, and what will we do?

I don’t just stress once and then am done stressing. I stress out, every day, for a month beforehand, until the whole thing is OVER.

Well, for Ethan’s birthday this year (tomorrow!), what with my folks’ imminent arrival and all the soccer! tball! choir! and did i mention parents!? We decided to go ahead with the expensive party at a venue. We chose a place with those big inflatable bouncers & slides and whatnot. The cost has always been the big detriment to me in the past, becuase it’s not a small sum! However, since we’re on a budget, I know exactly how much we cost on Jocelyns “at home” party, including all the food, goodie bags, and a cleaning service to come the day before, and it was more than I have been leading myself to believe in the past. I’m not saying Ethan’s is less (it’s not, it’s still more, as we’re paying for the place and yet still buying goodie bag stuff, pizza, drinks, and the cake) but I gotta tell you…

I have not worried about this party for a minute. It has been AWESOME! AND, we were able to invite his entire class, which we definitely would not have done if it were held at home (though probably yes, at a park).

So yes, we’re forking over a bit more money than we would have doing it at home. But even being on a budget, I have to say it is ENTIRELY WORTH IT!

First of all, I”m glad to hear that I am not the only one with a holy terror of the parental visit. Thanks gals for all your comments (is it weird that it is only GIRLS that commented? I THINK NOT!)

So yesterday, the note on the kindergarten board that informs parents what their kids did that day, held huge news. The kindergarteners had compiled and were taking home – their Kindergarten Phone book, with the names and phone numbers of everyone in their class.

Ethan was, to say the least, excited. He also held a little scrap of paper which he said was Austin’s phone number. As to why this number wasn’t in the phone book, he couldn’t say.

While I was picking up kids, James had arrived home and was starting dinner when Ethan received his first phone call. James was somewhat disconcerted, not knowing that kindergarteners everywhere were doubtless phoning up their buddies all over the prince william county area. He made sure a parent was near, took a message and then promptly called me.

“You’ll never guess who just called.”
“Someone for Ethan?”
“YES!”

Tee hee. I should have placed money on it.

“You got your first phone call, Ethan! Sean called you!”
“What did daddy tell him?”
“He told him you’d call him back when you got home.”
“ALL RIGHT! I’M GOING TO CALL HIM BACK!”

When we got home, Sean received his return phone call, Austin was also called and not being home, a message left for him. Then Lucy was called, and they discussed plans for meeting at the park in the near future. Other things that were discussed: Ethan’s upcoming birthday party and Austin’s upcoming birthday party.

After each phone call, Ethan usually beamed with pride and declared, “MY VERY FIRST PHONE CALL!!” (even if it was, at that point, his 3rd or even 4th.)

Jocelyn was not to be outdone, and wanted to make some phone calls of her own, so I let her call Grandma and Grandpa. They weren’t home, so she left a message for them. Ethan got a return phone call from Austin while he was in the bathtub (which was a fantastic way to get him out of the tub, which is always a chore). Grandma called Jocelyn back in about 10 minutes, and Jocelyn said “Hi Grandma! BYE!” and then passed the phone to me.

Yes, indeed, I’m surprised that the phone lines were able to manage all the extra usage as many 6 year olds (AND THEIR SIBLINGS!) tied up lines everywhere to call their friends they had just seen hours earlier.

This morning before getting dressed, he wanted to call Jenni. I managed to forestall that one, by saying she might be at school already.

Boy oh boy. OH boy.

Err, mah BABIES’-Daddy!

Seriously, what is the proper grammer for the daddy to TWO babies? The world needs to know.

This weekend, I kept pestering James to tell me whether he wanted me to make him a cake, or if I should just buy the ultra decadent so-much-chocolate-it-may-kill-you cake from Costco (the tall layer one, with shaved chocolate on top of the frosting. OK, I’m salivating now. Good lord.)

He said, “Oh, you can just get the costco one, that’s fine.”
me: “Or I could make you one.”
him: “That’s fine too.”
me: “I’m gonna make you one.”
him: “ok already!”

I wanted to make him a cake because I haven’t baked anything in a while, and I love to bake. And also because it’s much funner with the kids to make one than to just go buy one. We had the important “what kind of cake should we make for daddy?” discussion.

“Carrot cake!” was Ethan’s vote. I quickly corrected him. (He’s really come about-face on this carrot cake business.)
“Well, carrot cake is good, but I think maybe chocolate. Because your daddy LOVES the chocolate. He is a chocolate lover.”

Jocelyn loved this description of James and has used it multiple times over the past few days. “Daddy is a CHOCOLATE LOVER!”

So in the end, I decided to make him a marble cake, because that’s what his mom used to make him when he was a kid. Only I wanted to fancify it, so instead of just using a 13×9 cake pan like the recipe said to, I decided to put it in 2 round pans.

Marble cake is a vanilla cake where you take part of the batter and add chocolate to it, and then pour the vanilla batter in first, and the chocolate on top and swirl it around a bit so when it’s baked and you cut into it, it’s all marbley with vanilla and chocolate cake.

So, since James IS a chocolate lover, I debated aloud on whether I should make the primary cake chocolate, instead of vanilla, so that would make the majority of the batter chocolate, which he likes better. Then I decided not to, and said aloud, “I should probably just stick to the recipe.”

james: “So NOW you’re going to stick to the recipe, but when I cook, you always want me to do things your way even when I’m trying to stick to the recipe!”

Pish. That’s all I have to say about that. (“Pish” is good for when you have no leg to stand on, see.)

So last night, I prepared my batter and sprayed my 2 round pans, and had the batter all ready to pour, but it did NOT LOOK like nearly enough batter to fill 2 round pans. So I poured the whole thing into ONE round pan and right then, I could tell I was really screwed. It was way too full. But it’s a MARBLE cake, so I couldn’t transfer some of it to the other cake pan or it would stop being marble-y and just be … all mixed together brown cake? Not marble cake? Not sure what you would call it! So, knowing I had screwed the pooch, I just put the over-full round pan on a cookie sheet and slid it into the oven.

(Another reason one should probably not make marble cake in 2 round pans – the “marble” effect is probably better acheived in a single big pan. Then there is plenty of each batter (plain and chocolate) to make it the nice marbly effect when one batter is put on top of the other batter. If you split all that in half, as you would have to with 2 pans, there’s not as much of each type of batter to blend with each other it probably wouldn’t make as nice of an effect.)

Sure enough, 30 minutes later it had overflowed and half the cake had bubbled out onto the sheet pan.

So for James’ birthday, he gets the costco it-will-send-your-blood-sugar-to-new-heights chocolate cake AND he gets to taunt me about tweaking the recipe with disastrous results, which I usually bristle at with unbridled fervor. Now he can tease me all he likes and I will just have to TAKE it because of my cake disaster. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, HONEY! MAKE MY LIFE HELL! 🙂

This morning James made the “i’m getting out of bed” movements, so I quick told him to stay put for a few minutes and scurried into the kids room.

me: “Guess what today is?”
Now usually, Ethan answers these sort of questions first. But today, Jocelyn totally put the smack down and answered instantly.
j: “DADDY’S BIRTHDAY!!!!!”
m: “You guys want to climb into our bed and sing him happy birthday?”
j&e: “YEAAAAAAHHHH!!”

And so they did. And it was so super cute. Cuter than bunnies on top of puppies, they were so cute.

Then I told the kids, “Guess what, guys. Mommy ruined the birthday cake! So I’m going to pick you up early from school, and we’re going to go to costco to get one from there.”

Ethan: “Yay! Carrot cake!”
Jocelyn: “No! Not carrot cake. CHOCOLATE. Because Daddy is a CHOCOLATE LOVER.”

That girl. She kills me with the CUTE.

So this morning, we had a gouge or two out of the ruined birthday cake for a post breakfast snack, and tonight we’ll be lighting candles on top of the costco death-by-chocolate cake.

Because James is a CHOCOLATE LOVER.

Happy birthday to the best baby-daddy a girl could have!

love you sweetie.