Happy Memorial Day. My beloved May Poppies.

So now that I have ostracized all ELEVEN of my readers (i know, a gross exageration) by NOT POSTING A THING FOR WEEKS, let me just slay you know with the WORDS WORDS WORDS!

….. WORDS!

No pictures, either, not even if you beg!

Some assorted thoughts and happenings from my mother’s visit (my dad did not come at the last minute, doh!).
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him: I think they’re not bad.
me: Sit. Let me see.
(he sits.)
me: I HATE that. I HATE it when people sit down and their pants go up above their ankles. I don’t get it. They’re 34, right?
him: 32.
me: 32??? 32? What was I THINKING? That is pants for like a 6′ man, not a 6’5″ man!
him: heh.
me: Those are way too short. If I die, DO NOT EVER buy pants like that.
him. If you die, I’m going to get me a NEW wife, and it will be HER decision.
me: No. She will agree with me. This is a rule for everyone.
him: What if she doesn’t?
me: Then you married the wrong woman.
him: Her? or maybe YOU?!
me: Do you EVER want to have sex again?

-amy confides that only 15% of this conversation is fabricated. Can you guess which?

Two of my older brothers are getting ready to have the time of their lives.

This weekend is the 24 hours of LeMons race in California. I wish I could be there! My brother Joe first roped my brother Larry into joining his team last year. This year, they will be there with each of their own team/car. They’ve both been blogging about it (although Larr a bit more than Joe, *cough* *getwithitjoseph* *cough*)

Joseph’s team: Snowspeeder
Larry’s team: Volatile RAM

Here’s a couple of photos of Joe’s car complete with star wars geekiness rebel alliance logo on the side (I am married to the hugest SW geek ever, thus, I know these things), and here are some from Larry’s, who did a dandy paint job featuring many of those loved old arcade games, pac-man, blinky, & a space invaders alien.

I love this photo Larry took on their test run. I’d ask him if I could make it into a banner for Crazymokes, but I guess it’s not very applicable to THIS site…

I’ll be thinking of you guys this weekend! Have a blast! Don’t hurt yourselves!

Every year we usually have the kids’ birthday parties at home or close to home (neighborhood park).

Every year I stress out about a myriad of things.

What activities will we do? Who will come? We need to clean the house! We need to get food & cake & pizza! Oh, and what will we do?

I don’t just stress once and then am done stressing. I stress out, every day, for a month beforehand, until the whole thing is OVER.

Well, for Ethan’s birthday this year (tomorrow!), what with my folks’ imminent arrival and all the soccer! tball! choir! and did i mention parents!? We decided to go ahead with the expensive party at a venue. We chose a place with those big inflatable bouncers & slides and whatnot. The cost has always been the big detriment to me in the past, becuase it’s not a small sum! However, since we’re on a budget, I know exactly how much we cost on Jocelyns “at home” party, including all the food, goodie bags, and a cleaning service to come the day before, and it was more than I have been leading myself to believe in the past. I’m not saying Ethan’s is less (it’s not, it’s still more, as we’re paying for the place and yet still buying goodie bag stuff, pizza, drinks, and the cake) but I gotta tell you…

I have not worried about this party for a minute. It has been AWESOME! AND, we were able to invite his entire class, which we definitely would not have done if it were held at home (though probably yes, at a park).

So yes, we’re forking over a bit more money than we would have doing it at home. But even being on a budget, I have to say it is ENTIRELY WORTH IT!

TONIGHT:
Blessedly, no planned activities (ie: birthday parties, free scoop of ice cream days, soccer/tball games/practices, etc.)
This means we will be home to:
change all the sheets on all the beds
– our bed has about a cup of sand in it, thanks to Ethan taking off his socks in there
– the kids’ beds haven’t been changed in over a week now
Start laundry, make sure all soccer/tball uniforms are, or will be clean for Saturday
Find soccer picture order forms that need to be handed out to parents Saturday (check under laundry)
Wash mountain of dirty dishes in sink
Make kids clean up their art table and the 1,472 million tiny scraps of paper that have fallen on the floor around said art table. (check scraps to make sure they’re not the picture order forms)

SATURDAY:
7am – Everyone rises and parents struggle to bathe dress themselves and get 2 children dressed as well. (OK, maybe just 1 parent struggles while the other dresses themself.)
8am – Ethan’s Tball pictures. (Face should be jam free.) (perhaps with just 1 parent)
9am – Ethan’s Tball game. (Other parent arrives with other child)
11ish – Tball game over.
11:15 Amy freaks out that she hasn’t found picture order forms yet.
12:30 – Amy choir rehearsal
1:30 – Jocelyn soccer game (send james your sympathies for dealing with this on his own) (hopefully picture order forms have been found by now)
3:30 – Amy choir rehearsal over
4:30 – Amy & kids Ikea trip (w/ or w/out James depending on how frazzled he is from dealing with the soccer game on his own) to obtain goody bag items for upcoming Ethan birthday party (note to james: if you don’t come, your wife may come home with unplanned purchases) (like a RUG, we really could use a RUG in the basement!)

SUNDAY:
8:30am – Amy rises, struggles to bathe and dress herself
8:45 – Amy gets breakfast for the kids (who will be up by then) before heading out, still bleary eyed, for the third week in her PAID SINGING GIG!! (I know! I rock, baby!) (I singing in a church choir for sunday mass)(lightning hasn’t struck once!)
9:30 rehearsal
10:30 – mass
11:30 – mass over, amy heads home
12:15 amy arrives home and crumples in a heap on the floor.
1:30 amy picks self up and gets ready for choir concert, and leaves for concert venue
2:00 amy rehearsal at concert venue
3:30 james gathers various quiet activities (coloring books, paper dolls) and heads to concert with kids
4:30 choir concert in which amy has several solos
5:30 concert over, after vague milling around and socializing, amy and family head home.
6pm – amy and james collapse in a heap on the floor while the children play at the art table and scatter roughly 2,258 million tiny scraps of paper on the floor.
7pm – amy freaks out that her parents will be arriving in exactly 1 week and hasn’t managed to clean the entire house from top to bottom and will have no time in the coming week or weekend in which to do so! Whew!

So! Busy weekend for us! How about you?

I’ve been Jocelyn’s team manager for over a month now and have yet to post any of my crazy emails. I always hit “send” and bite my lip hoping that a) nobody is offended, b) nobody thinks i’m crazy, or even worse c) nobody rolls their eyes, because i am just SO not funny.

Yes, I know, I AM probably SO not funny, but I get a kick out of it, and i’m the (queen! czarina!) team manager, so neener neener!

Enough blather, here you go:
___________________
Look at me – I’m emailing in a relatively early fashion! And I can’t seem to stop using exclamation points! Someone send help!

First, a little teaser on how things are going to go down NEXT weekend, which is PICTURE DAY.

First off, make sure your kid has no jam on their face (this is one of my biggest issue on picture days). (OK, on every day, picture or no picture.)

Next! Our team pictures are being taken at <school>, at X:XXam.

Here is a map for <school>.

As you can see, it’s just down the road from <soccer fields>.

Please try to arrive by X:XXam.

Your child should be all ready for gametime, which means GOLD jerseys, shin guards, socks, and of course, no jam on the face. Hair brushing is optional. (Unless you’re in our house, where you will be screamed at if you take a step toward a child with a hairbrush in hand.)

I have the picture envelopes/order forms which has all the ordering information, and they will be handed out this Saturday. If you lose yours, there will be more available at the school on picture day. It’s nice to fill it out beforehand along with your check, so come picture time, you are free to spit on the corner of your sleeve and wipe jam off of faces.

We will then mill around the field (or gym, if it’s rainy) until it’s our turn, and then all our kids will get their individual picture taken, and then finally, all the kids and the coaches will have a team picture taken.

EVEN IF YOU ARE NOT BUYING PICTURES, PLEASE ATTEND PICTURE DAY. THE REST OF THE TEAM WANTS YOUR CHILD IN THEIR TEAM PICTURES!

After the joy that is “picture day” is over, we will then troop over to to play our game! The bright side is that our soccer events will all be over by noon and we can all spend the rest of the day letting our children get jam on their face while sipping mimosas! (Yes, I know, I live in fantasy land.)

Whew!

OK, that’s NEXT WEEK, so let’s get on with this week, shall we?

Arrive: X:XXpm
Gametime: X:XXpm
Jersey: BLUE
Field: #X
Snack duty: Jane Doe

You know the drill: shin guards, jerseys, water bottles – and jam on the face is totally optional! Wahoo! Go crazy!

I am NOT going to be at this Saturday’s game, but my husband will be there, and will probably be very embarrassed to be handing out photo envelopes on my behalf. Be sure to tell him makes a great soccer mom, and that he’s got a little smudge of jam right *there*. You can even spit on your sleeves and wipe it off!

Have a great game and hopefully we won’t get rained out of our Monday practice again!

-amy, who tries not to worry that her jam obsession may affect her mental health

PS! On a totally unrelated note, I am singing in a concert of big band/jazz music on Sunday at 4pm (and will be in rehearsal Saturday, thus my absence) and if anyone is interested in attending, I’d love to see you there! Tickets are $5/each and kids totally free! More info here: http://www.pwchorale.com/ (I am going to try not to have jam on my face for this one, but I make no promises!)

GARDENING
We planted some peas, but other than that, no garden planning has been done this year. Last year I sweated blood and tears over my sweet little indoor starter seedlings, and then I promptly killed them when I tried to harden them off outside (and it wasn’t the hardening. it was the not watering. i suck). So all the grow lights stayed in the closet this year and we’ll just be putting things directly into the ground.

I won’t be growing zuchini or cucumbers, because a) no one ever ate any but me, and b) the zucchini grew to GARGANTUAN sizes before I could pick them, which makes them less yummy.

The raspberries look like they are going to take over the world, the roots have REALLY spread out, and the strawberries are all intermingled with the raspberries. I should have done something about them last fall and now it’s too late. Note to self: Move the strawberries somewhere ELSE next fall. We already have a TON of little green baby strawberries growing. I can’t WAIT.

We’re doing sunflowers along the deck again – I LOVED those. We planted them on Sunday. I may also plant a pumpkin, because our mystery pumpkin was so much fun. Will definitely plant it later in the spring/summer though, as the pumpkin was ready long before October, and we’ll want some for halloween, o’course!

GOALS
I’m totally screwing the pooch on some of my new years goals, so I need to go over that. Blech.

KIDS
Soccer and tball season is upon us. Ethan’s games are going well, and I think he is really having a ball. Jocelyn love, love LOVES her soccer practice/games and even if she is a little clingy during them, afterward she always says, “I had SO MUCH FUN!” We had a vague repeat of the first game from last spring and I had an eerie deja vu feeling. It’s fun, but it really does run us ragged. Our menu planning is going to go SO downhill. I am the manager for Jocelyn’s team, so far I’ve only forgotten 1 thing. ERr, 2 things. At least I’ve come a long way since our first soccer game. Maybe.

EASTER
i have very cute pictures that i need to do something.

PHOTOS
It’s a shame that I fell off the 360 photos thingee because now the camera is sitting there, getting dusty. Someday I should pick it up again.

MONEY MONEY MONEY!
OK, not really money, but budget. The more I use YNAB, the more I LOVE it and I want to wax philosophical about that and see if I can’t get some of you to USE IT!

THAT’S ALL, FOLKS!

OK, the british aren’t coming, but MY PARENTS ARE COMING AND THAT’S EVEN WORSE, PEOPLE!

OK, it’s not really worse, because obviously it’s a nice thing when your parents come to visit, but it’s not nice the kind of things that go on in my head when there is an imminent parental invasion on the horizon.

What kind of things happen in my head? Oh the lists I make, it’s startling. Here’s a taste of what MUST BE DONE before my parents make contact with Virginia air space:

fix bannister*
install thermostat
hang amy ruppel print
frame amy ruppel print
put away christmas decorations that are hanging out in the guest room
get rid of half the the toys in the house so that it’s possible to
put all the toys in their proper bins in their proper place
go through the pile of kid clothes on their upper shelf and get rid of the outgrown stuff
put all kids’ clothes the winter clothes on upper shelf of kids’ closet
have the carpets cleaned
have the house cleaned
buy new clothes
buy new bras
get a hair cut
get hair dyed
get a pedicure
cut the kids’ fingernails
get eyebrows waxed
clear off all the crap on all the flat surfaces throughout the house
have a garage sale
buy all new furniture
get decorator to make house actually look good
oh, and hide all the porn, booze, blow and dead hookers, and and last but not least,
put scriptures on coffee table.

OK, so yes, I’m totally kidding on some of these, of course we don’t have to hide dead hookers and blow, first of all, we already BURIED the dead hookers, and of course we’ll use up all the blow before they get here. And my parents would DEFINITELY know something is up if there were scriptures on the table!

The porn though, definitely need to hide that.

* (oh, by the way, our bannister bracket thingee broke and the whole thing has been lying on the stairs for over a week now. We are SO FANCIFIED.)

Seriously though, there are a lot of things that need to get done before May 11th, which is the day they arrive, and even though we are T-minus 3 weeks, I’m starting to go into panic mode.

How about you? Do you panic when the parrental units come to town? Or just come over? Or just call you? Or when you feel that perhaps they’ve turned your head in your direction from across the nation?

Oh is that just me?

Spill people! All two of you!