Now, I realize that money is one of those things that you are not supposed to talk about, along with religion and politics (and I’ve been pretty good on all those subjects on this here blog so far). I really debated about posting this, as it crosses a line about how much information I want about me and my family out there for all to see. But I feel like there are probably a lot of normal people out there plodding along like we have, who don’t like their situation and who might benefit from hearing some of this.

Without going into too much detail, I’ve been crushing on all the personal finance blogginess and podcasts out there in the inkernet. One of my new years resolutions was to get a better handle on our finances. More than just making sure the bills were paid on time and then spending on whatever until the rest was gone. Probably not a good plan, right? Right! We’ve let some debt accumulate and so it was time to pull my head out of the sand and get moving on it.

(I have even started a super secret money blog in order to keep me motivated. Hello, I am fickle. I need things to keep my attention from wandering when something shiny walks past. And no, I’m not telling you the url. Some dirty laundry should only be read by STRANGERS! See above re: how much information i want about me and my family out there.) (If you’re a stranger, maybe I’ll tell you.)

Obviously, the first order of business was to start spending less, which James is already good at, and me, not so good at. I stopped eating out at work (except for group lunches) and more importantly, on the WAY to work. While this is a good first step, I still needed to know where our money was going and get it to go where I wanted it to go.

Now, I handle the finances in our household, a role that James is fine with. Discussing money and budgeting in our household has not been without stress, conflict, and outright tension. OK, I admit it, when he sometimes (rightfully so) criticizes the state of our finances, I would usually throw up my hands and say, “Let’s see YOU pay all the bills then!” and it would stop about right there.

So the very big important second step was getting the budget in order. I know how to budget – a handy spreadsheet will suffice for most everything, really, but I ran across some budgeting software purely by chance (linked off of one of the personal finance blogs I’m crushing on). It’s called, “You Need A Budget.” Catchy, huh! I’m a quicken user, and I have tried using the budgeting part of quicken, but have found it lacking. Usually I just ignore it, and assign things to categories as the transactions occure. Which, yes, shows you WHERE the money went, after you spent it, but doesn’t not help you put it where you want it to go! And yes, assigning a $200 Target bill to just “household: groceries” is me lying to myself, don’t you think? 🙂

So enter You Need A Budget – this program is really cool. It’s not produced by a company, just a guy who decided to put his own budgeting system into software form (it was originally an excel spreadsheet, which you can also purchase) and there you go.

Now this is the part where I should just point you to the software and let you look further if you’re interested, but I can’t. I love it so much, I’m going to get into it right here. I don’t blame you if you skip the rest, but there’s some touchy feely crap at the bottom, if you want to just skip to there.

The software has 2 main screens – the register, and the budget. The budget screen has the month at the top, with a big number, which is your available money. Then there are all the categories. To start, you switch over to the register, make an income entry which is whatever your checking account balance is, and then when you go back to the budgeting side, voila, that number is there as “available” to budget with.

So then, you think about what you’ve got coming up, (the phone bill, the gas bill, the kids’ piano tuition, groceries, etc.) and in each category, you assign what you think you’ll spend. As you enter numbers for each category, the available amount decreases. You keep on doing this, until you get that available number to 0. Now all your money is ASSIGNED. It all has a JOB to do. You can make or change categories to fit your needs.

Now, as you go through the month, you enter your purchases in the register, and it will show up as “spent” in the budgeting screen. You can see with a quick glance that you’ve spent $79 of your $400 grocery budget, and it will even show you the available balance left.

It used to be that as the month went on and our checking account balance dwindled, I would grow worried & concerned $600 left in the checking account used to be, “what is going to happen? will that stretch far enough?” Now, in my budgeting screen, if I’ve assigned amounts to all the categories I can think of (including some categories for yearly expenses, like car tax and tuition) and see that I still have $600 “available” – it’s like I “found” money to put into savings or towards debt!

There’s a whole other side to the software too, which is the methodology, called the “Rules” which I also adore. I am not going to get into them much though – if you want to read more, it’s on the website.

I could go on, and I WILL go on, if you really want me to. But I won’t go on any more right here. If you’re looking to get your finances in order, this is a great piece of budgeting software.

TOUCHY FEELY CRAP

Let me just say this – the best part about this software? James and I are on the same page. He still doesn’t really look at the budget, I’m pretty much handling all the money… But no one feels like they’re being told what to do, we’re in this together and there are no more arguments, we both know where the money is going, and we are both on the same page. We have made some very specific goals and our budget reflects that. You HAVE heard that money is the #1 cause of divorce, right? (OK, I just made that up, but it MIGHT be true!) While we still have work to do in front of us, it is nice to have a plan, and nice to know we’re pointed in the right direction.

Also – It really makes me think twice about buying stuff. It’s very freeing. I don’t feel the need to buy useless crap anymore. Crap that only clutters my home and we don’t really need. I know this feeling won’t last, and there’ll be times when I just want the INSTANT GRATIFICATION of a new whateverwhatsits..

But you know what else? If I do? There’s money in the “Amy’s fun money” budget category for whatever the hell I want.

-amy

Leia, having a ball at her first birthday.

So, Monday, James and Jocelyn stayed home, both of them afflicted with what we supposed was the same virus Ethan brought home from Kindergarten.

Ethan’s nose has been running a mile a minute, very thin snot that is clear, but plentiful. He had a fever that never broke 101, and a cough that you could tell was just due to all that clear runny snot going down the back of his throat.

Jocelyn woke us all up crying at about 6am this morning, and felt pretty hot to the touch. It’s hard to tell though, as she had on warm jammies and a warm blankey, what exactly her temperature was. I gave her some tylenol and after sitting her on the potty brought her into my bed.

We both laid there, not really sleeping, Jocelyn trying to breath through her really gunked up stuffy nose so she could suck her thumb, and me reaching over her and patting her back. rubbing her sweet little bottom or moving her hair out of her face. Every now and then I offered her a kleenex and we attempted a nose blow, but it was fated to be futile.

I decided that her symptoms were different enough from Ethan’s to warrant a trip to the doctor, and called and made an appointment (for any doctors reading, I highly recommend the answering service that allows worried moms to make apointments for that day, even if it’s 6:45am.) As 7am is usually the wake up time in our house, I got up at 6:50, went and got Ethan, who was awake probably the entire time, and brought him into our bed as well (James was asleep in the guest room, so as not to infect me with the plague). I turned on a closet light and put on Handy Manny for the kids while I hopped in the shower.

So the day started much like Monday, James and Jocelyn staying home, me taking Ethan to school and heading off to work.

Right when Jocelyn and James were in the middle of her doctor’s appointment, the school called to inform me that Ethan had a temperature of 100.3 and he needed to be picked up.

I called James and didn’t get an answer (for an EXCRUTIATING) 15 minutes, where he told me that … drum roll! Jocelyn has strep throat.

My lord! Poor girl!!

James confirmed that his throat was really hurting and he wanted to go see the doctor as well.

So, while James and Jocelyn went and got Ethan from school, I immediately called and made an appointment for James, and then called and made an appointment for Ethan, thinking he must have had new and improved worsened symptoms, and then left work to head home so James could go to his appt w/out worrying about getting Ethan to his appointment.

Ethan’s symptoms weren’t really any worse. They were the same, so I felt a bit foolish having made the appointment so hastily, but figured it couldn’t hurt and took him in anyway. Sure enough, the quickie strep test was negative, but she took the second overnight strep test and gave me a prescription to hold on to in case his fever spikes above 103 or she gets a positive result back.

James didn’t have to do the strep test however, his doctor (who is the same as mine) listened to the tale of Jocelyn being positive, added it to the fact that his throat was in a lot of pain, and gave him the prescription without much fuss.

Now I’m on the couch at home, working busily away, while James, Jocelyn & Ethan are ALL asleep upstairs.

Please oh please oh please don’t let me get sick!

-amy

Given to Leia on Saturday, at her 1st birthday party.

OK, not really a plague, but damn if this virus isn’t makin’ the rounds!

Ethan stayed home sick Friday, and was still running a low fever off and on until Saturday. James took him to the doctor, who pronounced it a virus.

By Saturday night, James professed to feeling a bit under the whether, and by Sunday night, Jocelyn also turned up with a fever.

We thought that James would be home today with both Ethan and Jocelyn, but when I snuck into the kids’ room this morning at 7am, he was awake, wrapped up with his blankies and hugging his pookie bear:

me: How’re you feeling Ethan?
ethan grinned and flashed me a thumbs up sign.
me: What do you think about school? Do you want to go?
Ethan grinned and nodded his head vigoriously.

So I took Ethan in to school and aside from some coughing and a running nose, he seemed pretty good. The previous day, James and I could tell he was getting pretty bored, having not left the house aside from the doctor, since Thursday.

I guess there is such a thing as too much tv and video games!

Hopefully James and Jocelyn will be feeling better by tomorrow.

This was taken in May 2006.

from March 2006.

On the way up to bed:

Jocelyn: Mommy, how long is it at bedtime?

Mommy: It’s bedtime now! We’re going to go get you in bed! Right now! No waiting, fast service, zip zap zoom!

Jocelyn: Is it a short one?

Mommy: It’s not naptime, honey. It’s nighttime. It’ll be nighttime until morning.

Jocelyn: How long is that?

Mommy: Well, it’s–

Ethan: I know. It’s ONE HUNDRED AND FORTY THREE POUNDS.

This is Jocelyn’s “Party Dress” that I got her before her birthday last year. She is wearing it for Ethan’s birthday in this picture.

She has shot up so much in the last year that this dress no longer is decent on her. I kept thinking what a shame it was, because, my baby! so cute in this dress! What a waste! Or was it?

So I cut it straight off right under the armpits, folded over the excess, sewed down the buttoned opening and snipped off the buttons, left the front of the waist flat and put a length of elastic in the back to make it into this skirt (oh, and I did this in 45 minutes, how proud am i!):

It’s definitely decent now and should last at least another year. Behold the Party Skirt! I have 2 other dresses I am considering treating the same way. We’ll see.

Pictures of the party where the party skirt made it’s debut coming soon!