Oh my god people! I have UPDATED MY BANNER!

You do realize, that this now means that black = white, and white = black.

So.

You know, …

Sorry about that.

BUT WHAT DOES IT MEEEEAAAANN??? (the banner, I mean. What does the banner mean. Was I being cryptic? Sorry.)

It means that since christmas is over and I no longer have an occassion to give my jewelry away from, and also because I keep placing $80-$100 orders at various bead stores both in the real world and in cyberspace, and since I can no longer actually have any chance of WEARING all the pieces I am making[1. that’s a lie. i would totally wear all the pieces i am making, all at once, if at all possible.], and I have opened an etsy shop!

So, you know, please go check it out! And by all means, buy something! Because I have a bead order I want to put in already! Clicky clicky!

OK, so actually, there’s not much there yet. I’m having product photography issues. It’s hard, man, like, really hard! But I’m working on it, and hopefully will have some more stuff in the etsy shop soon.

Oh, and in the banner? On the left – the necklace I made my sister, which I really kind of wanted to keep, so it sucks she actually loves it, and on the right, the necklace I made for my mom, which she told me with glee she wore on her birthday[2. that i forgot to call her on, what a daughter i am!] on Monday. So! Success! I’ll show you the others soon.

So in the meantime! Go here! And feel free to buy something! Mommy needs a new set of hammers and anvils.[3. OK, actually, it would be momma’s FIRST set of hammers and anvils, but who’s counting?]

-Amy

Lets see if she can tell the difference!

Well, not being confined to 150 charaxters is quite nice! But the need to make this a narrative is strong and therefore must be SQUASHED. See, twitter doesnt have narrative, you just throw it out there in all it’s 150 char glory and that’s that. Narative makes me feel like “who has time for that?” so no narratives allowed!

Ethan knows about Santa.

He blurted out his suspicions one early dec morning at breakfast and i made the mistake of pulling him aside and confirming said suspicions. Sincec then, he has been unbearable where Santa has been concerned. If someone had written a book called, “how to get your kid to quit being an ass about Santa” I WOULD HAVE BOUGHT IT. I wish I had dome it differently, but it was done.

This morning, when he came in to insist that ITS MORNING LETS GO OPEN PRESENTS, i snuggled him in with me and we had a chat. We talked about how we need to respect other prople’s belief. I told him Santa is like a game that kids like to play.

“didn’t you have fun last year when you thought he was real?” i pointed out.

“but he DOESNT EXIST!”

This is pretty much how every conversation had gone so I took a different approach.

“Imaginevif you were playing Risk. It wouldnt be fun if someone came up and told you, “those armies dont exist!” and then threw your game on the ground, would you?”

“But Sant—”

I cut him off since ui knw where it was going.

“Think of it as a secret that only you and the adults know. You dont need to say anything. If Santa is mentioned, you can just look over at me and smile and give me a wink.”

It worked. If only I had given him this talk WEEKS ago, BEFORE he’d gone hollering about santa to every kid that came wihjin reach of the sound of his voice. (can we say busstop?)

Christmas morning was great. Santa did come up. And their was a lot of dmiling andvwinking going on. And hopefully he can use this as a life lesson. He is a great kid and a SMART kid. He figured Santa out by using all the facts at his disposal (he’s even said as much). And i hope when he comes across beliefs others may wishbto push on him, he’ll use all the facts at his disposal, parse the information, and if necessary, just smile and wink to himself while he respects those beliefs.

Please forgive the typos. Ive typed it in on my phone Without any checking, and ill clean it up in the morning.

G’nite, and happy christmas!

(did some narrative after all!)

Despite a big DUM DUM moment from me which has in effect, removed any belief in Santa in our eldest (this deserves a whole ‘nother blog post, sometime soon), I managed to get them to write letters, which were then sealed away, stamped, addressed to Santa at the North Pole, and deposited into the mailbox, “With the FLAG UP!” as Jocelyn gleefully pointed out.

Before they were sent off, I did take pictures.

Outside of Ethan’s letter:

What can I say, he likes to scare people.

Ethan’s letter to Santa:

Text:
Dear Santa, I would like a spy kit. From, Ethan

Jocelyn’s letter to Santa

A little trickier to read, so here’s the text:

Dear Santa! I would like a green buzz!!!!!!! I’ve been very good! Jocelyn

(edited to add: She is referring to Buzz Lightyear. None of those 5″ $5 purple ones, either, she wants the $20 12-inch one, that is GREEN.)

I have to say. Ever since James and I spawned offspring, I’ve been secretly waiting for the day I could take pictures of their letters to Santa.

Too cute.

Just one of the things I’ve been working on..

In my efforts to not let my blog just COMPLETELY wither away and die, here is a forced update!

Do you totally hate me? The christmas shopping is done.

I totally got up and did Black Friday this year. It was actually pretty awesome to get most everything out of the way. I researched, made a list of things to get and went to 3 stores: target, toys r us, and kmart. I made a spreadsheet for the family of who’s getting what and after a few more stops that weekend, I’m happy to say, the christmas shopping is DONE. Yesterday, I got a tree with the kids. James and I put it up when he got home after his class/test, and today the kids and I will get going on decorating. I’m going multicolored this year with the 5 boxes of “icy twinkle lights” I got on sale after christmas last year.

For some reason I thought that they were ceramic. Kind of glad now to find they are not.

An early christmas present to me was a new mixer. My old mixer is a knock off of the Bosch Universal, a mixer my mother has had since before I was born (I may be exagerating, but as long as I can remember!).

Bosch Universal

6-8 years ago when I wanted a mixer, I wanted one like hers, but got convinced that this lookalike, Dimension 2000, was a better choice. And it works fine, just loverly, still does, except I broke both the sets of wire whips (regular and cookie dough) and the company is now out of business. Not so loverly.

Dimension 2000

So I’ve been out of a mixer since the summer, and with Christmas here, cookie making season is upon us. I like to make cookies and send them out to all our family (because I’m cheap that way) And you know what? Mixing double batches of cookie dough with a hand mixer? IS NOT FUN.

Linen N Things is going out of business, and so I’ve been eyeing the Cuisinart 5.5 quart model, regularly $300. It’s very similar to the KitchenAid mixer, same similar attachments available (even a food processor!) but in my mind, a little slicker looking and with a TIMER feature! How cool is that! I was a little nervous I was making the same mistake I made with the Universal — buying a different version of the more known brand, but I don’t think Cuisinart is going to be going anyway!

Cuisinart 5.5 qt Stand Mixer

When I first saw it, it was down 20% to $240, and James agreed that a mixer is something I kind of use a lot and actually “need” (thanks again honey) (he could have been a real pain because I have this “anything bought for yourself or others after Thanksgiving MUST BE WRAPPED AND PUT UNDER THE TREE” rule that he REALLY doesn’t like, so he could have turned that one against me and not let me HAVE the mixer until Christmas). When I went to get it, it was down again to 30%, so at $210, the was mixer purchased, and has already been put to use.

It’s a little kooky to get used to this style — the Bosch/Dimension probably seems like the kooky one to other people, what with the actual bowl being more of a doughnut shape instead of a normal bowl, but it’s what I’ve been used to my whole life, even growing up! Getting in and scraping down the edges has been tricky, and the dough does like to ride up a bit, up above the beat/whip, but so far, I like it 🙂 The timer feature is especially nice. So far I have only done cookie doughs, but I can’t wait to try some bread doughs and whip cream and egg whites (not all for the same thing, obviously!)

So even though the shopping is done, there’s still a lot of baking to do, and I want to make some easy mass-assembly line type craft to include with the cookies, but am at a loss of exactly what. Last year I did marble magnets for everyone, using my masses of extra altoids tins as a container. Stretchy cheap-beaded bracelets for nieces would be nice, and are super easy. Maybe stretchy bracelet with their name on it for the boys, but some of my nephews are older and I could see totally sticking up their nose at them. Adults, really not sure. Necklaces for adult female relatives would be nice, but might be too expensive (good beads ain’t cheap people!). And let’s face it, I’m running out of time for intricate work here. We might just be looking at stretchy bracelets for the little girls, and cookies for everyone else.

OK, this wraps up our holiday christmas presents edition post!

-amy twinkles but she does not glow. NO GLOWING.

So, the blog. Oh, the blog. So cobwebby and dusty. why? Why you ask?

I have to admit… it’s probably because of twitter.

If I have a random thought… there’s twitter! All ready for me to input my crazy thought in 140 characters or less! And then once it’s out of my head… the drive to post on the blog is pretty much gone. The goo has been skimmed.

Which means, I’m just going to have to make more of an effort.

Jocelyn has been SO cute lately. So huggie. So kissy! So “I love you all the way up to one HUNDRED!” she’s also said a few doozies that I can actually remember to document.

2 nights ago when I put her to bed, she put on jammies that were way too small. she kept insisting that she wear them anyway. “This will be the last time, mommy.” she told me. Well, by the time we read stories and got her all tucked in, she decided they really WERE too small, and took off the top.

“Shall I get you another top?” I asked.
“No. I don’t want a top.” she said.

When we put Jocelyn to bed, she requires 3 return visits. Otherwise, she will call us and accuse us with the heat of a thousand suns in her eyes, “You didn’t check on me THREE TIMES!”

So, I went back in to check on her, and she said solemnly and seriously, “I have a problem.”

She looked so serious that I thought maybe she had pooped in her bed or something. I cautiously pulled her blanket down a little, but nothing was obviously wrong.

“What’s the problem, honey?”
“I need a lid,” she said.
Perplexed, I asked, “A lid?”
“Yes. A lid for my tummy.” she gave her bare tummy a pat. Suddenly, I knew she wanted a jammie shirt. I laughed. “OK, I’ll get you a lid.”

It wasn’t until later when I was relaying the tale to James that I got the connection. I had called her shirt a “top” – and she had, very astutely, I might add! made the connection from “top” to “lid”!

That’s my girl 🙂 My lovey dovey, 3 hugs and kisses during dinner girl.

-amy

Well, it’s definitely time for an update on the children.

Saturday I finally broke down and took Ethan to the doctor because of his eyes. I’d noticed that they’ve been bloodshot off and on for 3-4 days, looking fine whenever I tried to point it out to James, and they looking vaguely watery and bloodshot whenever james was nowhere in sight. The two items (bad looking eyes, and James) finally coincided and I took Ethan to urgent care. We waited around FOREVER, and then the doctor had the nerve to tell me that yes, it was pink eye, but too mild to be treated. It would clear up in 3-4 days.

“But it’s already been 3-4 days..?!?”
“Yup, that’s normal.”

I was annoyed. We came home and I started giving him some of the drops we still had in the house. (that’s right. I defied the doctor’s orders. Shoot me.)

Saturday night was very nice – James and I got a sitter and went to see a movie, “Rachel Gets Married” – a nice, light hearted jaunt starring Anne Hathaway as a drug addict getting out of rehab for a weekend to attend and participate in her sister’s wedding. There were such light happy go lucky moments as when we learn that Anne’s character was responsible for the death of their younger brother years ago, when she was in charge of him and was high as a kite – there was a car accident, the car went into a lake, and she couldn’t get the brother out. The movie revolved around the family and their disfunction, and how this event changed them further. Yeah, it was pretty much the feel good movie of the year!

I wouldn’t have chosen it if I’d known how heavy it was (as james said, “would you CHOOSE a kick in the balls??) but I can’t say I didn’t like it. Can’t really say I liked it either, but I didn’t DISlike it. It was interesting.

Then we got pizza at a place in Georgetown that has a huge beer selection, talked over the movie, the kids, our life, beer, the kids, work, the kids and then some more about the kids.

That night Jocelyn woke up just as we were about to head to bed, crying about her ear. So Sunday came around and once again, I was at the urgent care center, this time with Jocelyn. We saw a different doctor who confirmed, yup, she has an ear infection, and got a prescription for the super strong good stuff, augmentin es (for extra strength). Unfortunately for us…. the strong stuff is also the awful tasting stuff.

I gave her the first dose as soon as I got it, in Target, anxious for it’s to start working it’s antibiotic mojo, and she compained about it’s awful taste. That night’s dose went down too, with some complaints afterwards, but not too much trouble. Well, this morning… it took me a half hour to cajole her into taking it.

This is really dangerous territory. There are a LOT of things in a child’s life that a parent can just outright control. Child doesn’t agree? Parent can just pick Child up, and deposit her where Parent wants, despite Child’s wishes. However, there are 3 things that Parent Just Simply Cannot Control Or Order Away. Eating, Pooping, and Sleeping. You can’t make them do any of those things, so you should just give up trying.

Now, if I had to characterize our two children, I would say Ethan is the stubborn one (like a MULE) and Jocelyn is the more flexible one. If Ethan doesn’t want to do something, then by god he is going to try everything in his power to not do it. And I mean tooth and claw. Jocelyn however, will protest while she goes along with whatever it is she doesn’t want to do.

So when Parent (that would be me) lines up the treats and the glasses of water for afterward and talks about how the “medicine is going in there to beat up those germs! take that, germ! and THAT! HIIIII-YAH!” for a good 60 minutes and still is getting nowhere with Child (that’d be Jocelyn) and Parent starts to lose their patience/temper and starts to try to just start order Child to “take this medicine already!” with cold hard voiced counting to 3 (after which the child is just supposed to magically open their mouth and take the medicine) — Now this is the child who is “flexible” mind you, and she was having none of it… that should say something about how vile this stuff is.

Tonight, after almost nearly just about forcing her to open her mouth and squirting the medicine inside, she kept her mouth open, letting it drip out all over the place while crying plaintively.

This was only Day 2 of 10 days of medicine people. I waved the white flag and had our pediatrician paged. We’re taking Jocelyn in tomorrow for another looksee at the ears and a new prescription. She said not to worry about the morning dose.

Have I mentioned how much I love our pediatrician?

So that is the medicine drama. The actual The Girl Is In Great Pain! drama is much worse 🙁

Last night she woke up crying just as we were about to go to bed. She did not stop. she clung to me and wouldn’t let go. James helped me get everything situated and we quickly brought her into our bed with me while James went to the guest room. She would quiet down just to start crying again in 30 seconds. After singing and stroking her back and holding her and putting her down and laying next to her and holding her again and nothing helping, finally I decided she really just needed to get her mind off of the pain. So we grabbed our blankies, went downstairs, whispered about how CRAzy it was, sneaking around in the middle of the night, and put on Finding Nemo. I kept telling her that if she wanted to fall asleep, she could, but she stayed awake the entire time, with only a few plaintive, “My ear hurts!” throughout. Afterwards, we went back up to bed and she slept until morning.

Today she cried about her ears (and yes, it was BOTH now, instead of just the one) a few times, but seemed to be much better in the afternoon, not mentioning her ears at all, so hopefully she can sleep through the night tonight.

Ethan has been doing pretty good in school. He has a very good week with a few isolated incidents. But when those incidents happen, ARGH. He seems to just LIKE punching his fist out in front of him. Even when there’s no one there, he just likes doing that. Unfortunately, sometimes he does it AT OTHER PEOPLE. Sometimes you just want to shake him and say, “THIS IS NOT HARD, JUST QUIT HITTING PEOPLE.” Erg.

With Jocelyn home today, I let him ride the bus home from school, something he’s wanted to do for a while. He had a good day at school, but doh – he hit a girl on the bus on the way home. His reason: She was singing a song and he wanted her to stop.

We walked over to her house and he apologized, but jeez, it just totally deflated me.

He is currently in a group class for social achievement once a week and he HATES it. the counselor said that of course he hates it, they’re calling him out on the things he’s doing. I feel OK about it, but I am still melancholy about a specific doctor that was highly recommended but is not in our insurance. One of the comments one of the recommenders said was that it was eye-opening for her. For her. It would be nice to know if James and I are handling things well, and get advice and help for anything we may be inadvertently doing to reinforce bad behavior.

There are 3 things he seems to be constantly doing around the house – throwing things, swinging things around and around and around, and punching his fist out in front of hime (whether someone is there or not, it’s not acceptable). Today after the bus incident, he seemed to be doing all three more and more and more. We finally decided (we probably should have done this a while ago) that any TV shows with fighting in it is hereby not acceptable. The kids favorite show is Avatar, which james and I both reall like as well, it’s won awards and shit — but the fact is, there’s fighting in it, in EVery episode, and that can’t be helping, so, no more Avatar. Ethan didn’t take it well. I told him that maybe after there’s no more reports of hitting or punching, we would consider putting it back on the tivo.

I don’t know if this is just me, but Ethan seems to have gone a bit backwards in his communication skills. He used to be able to relate things to me that were understandable and mostly, in full. But it seems like he hasn’t been doing that for a while now. For example, say there’s something he’s thinking, or remembering that spans 1 through 10. Well, he will start talking, and only say the parts 3-5, and I’ll have to try to figure out or ask enough questions to get the 1, 2, and 6-10 (did that make sense??) If it’s something that is home related or that we talked about before, I can do that fairly easily, but if it’s something I’m not familiar with, like something at school, then I’m totally in the dark. I’m pretty sure this is normal behavior, but it makes me wonder sometimes too.

Ethan is having his testing done next week, which is another source of some anxiety. Well, it is when I think about it, but truly, I don’t think about it very often, so I’m OK. when I do though, I worry about what the results will be and what those results will mean. James talked me down from the cliff on our date though with the simple truth – we’ll deal with it when we know what it is we’re dealing with and whether it even is something that needs dealing with.

I realize that was long — if you’ve stuck in here this long, I hereby award you a gold star for fortitude. If not, that’s ok too – I think mostly this post was for me, getting all this off my chest out out of my head is always good.

-amy skims the goo… OF HER BRAIN!

And have not blogged anything in quite some time. I just haven’t really felt the urge to write. I don’t even want to know what month my banner says it is. If you all can promise to pretend it’s not 3+ months old, I promise I’ll get a new one up for December, OK?

So while I have you, let me send you to a few other places!

My friend Curtis had a piece published over at McSweeney’s – he’s an awesome writer, go give it a read.

Any crafty sorts out there should sprint to the nearest store to pick up Alicia Paulson’s new book, Stitched in Time: Memory Keeping Projects to Sew and Share – I’m currently in the embroidering the face phase of the sweet ballerina doll on the cover. (I could be in this phase til the middle of next year.)

I’ve been lovin’ on all my podcasts lately, and one of the best, RadioLab has just started their new season, with the first episode of “Choice”. I haven’t even listened to it yet (let’s just say itunes has been having some issues), and I’m sending you to them. That’s how good they are. I hart RadioLab!

I have been making jewelry, and as such, I REALLY want to take some good quality photographs of them. So I’ve been reading about and making lightboxes. Hopefully I will get it together enough to get some shooting done this weekend.

I’ve also been sick. Right now, I feel OK, but this morning I hocked up, what I’m pretty sure was, pieces of my brain, tinged with blood. OK, it probably wasn’t my brain, but the consistency is what I imagine brain must be like. That warrants a visit to the doctor, right?

-amy prefers a 50/50 mix of apple juice and ginger ale when taking to her sickbed.

In list form!

• I took a jewelry beading class a few weekends ago, a class I thought would mostly be stringing, but ended up being wire working, and I have to say, I loved it. However, it has brought a few things to light, namely:
  • Cheap pliers are just that. Cheap. The teacher had tools for us to use, which I did, and then when I got home and tried to use the cheapo pliers I had initially purchased, my hands were killing me. Ouch.
  • Silver wire is expensive! She gave us all copper wire to work with, because it’s relatively cheap. Silver is pretty expensive. However, I am not particularly drawn to copper. I don’t hate it, I just don’t usually go for it. And now, after the class, when I look at the copper wire, I have no idea what sort of beads to pair it with. I am paralyzed with inactivity. I have no wish to make copper jewelry. I ache to make something, but I don’t know what. I just am more partial to silver, really.

  So, I’m kind of antsy and anxious to get started with some more jewelry, but a) i need some good pliers and b) I want silver wire. Both of which cost a decent amount of money. But after wobbling about for a week on what to do, I bit the bullet. I bought some very good pliers online, along with a small amount of sterling silver wire, and a bigger amount of (silver-looking-in-appearance)(cheap) nickel wire. I figure I will use the nickel and if I make a piece I really like, I can redo it in the silver. Now I can’t wait for my order to arrive!

• My upper back is having some sort of reaction to something. At first I thought our cat had scratched me or something, because I just had this very mild irritation on the back of my shoulder, and indeed, could feel a miniscule scratch, but it has progressed to a much larger area than just the invisible scratch area and wtf? No rash or other visual indicator is present, but I’m telling you, not a minute goes by where I don’t feel pain somewhere in this general area. Not a big pain, but a pain-in-the-ass pain, because I keep being made aware of it, over and OVER AND OVER AGAIN. Time for some hydrocortisone cream I guess.
• Today at the office there is a potluck, and OFFICE MASSAGES. When I wondered over to the front desk to sign up yesterday, I was aghast that there were hardly any people signed up. I was tempted to put myself down twice. Don’t these people like to relax and be massaged? After the last week, I CANNOT WAIT.
• With the potluck today and a class party in Jocelyn’s classroom on Friday, I made a whole crapload of pumpkin cupcakes. I just LOVE these things. I wish I had the time to decorate them like Melissa from Suburban Bliss did her BOO cupcakes – LOVE THESE – I’m telling you follow the link and just scroll down for the pictures. Creepily DELIGHTFUL. But I did not have the time, so I just dipped them all in halloweeny sprinkles and called it good. And spent the entire trip into the office this morning thinking of some ghoulish names to accompany them. I’ve settled on “Putrid Pumpkin Pustules Slimed With Creepy Creamed Cheese of the Occult” I’ll take any suggestions!
• This year when I bought out the hat and gloves department at Target for the family, I hit on something. I usually buy several pairs so that when the first glove goes missing (as they all inevitably do) there would be back-up gloves. This year – I bought TWO PAIRS OF THE SAME GLOVES for everyone. Why did I not think of this?? Then when the end of winter comes and tons of gloves are missing, we are much more likely to have MATCHING GLOVES. I can’t tell you how many times Jocelyn has gone to school with one supergirl glove and one transformer glove. Hopefully this year it will be Supergirl FTW! Also, I bought some fingerless gloves to try out in the office and I HAVE NOT NOT USED THEM SINCE. I LOVE them. My hands are warm, but my fingers are not constricted by any bulky material. In fact, these aren’t fingerless gloves, they’re more like fingerless mittens, because there’s no individual fingers to them. Yet another idea I should have adopted YEARS AGO.
• And just not to leave anyone hanging, Ethan has been doing well this week. No major incidents. He appeared to have totally brushed off the girl in his class telling him he was kicked out of daycare. His teacher said that he replied, “No I didn’t.” and he hasn’t brought it up to us at all. The counseling center got back to me and we decided to do some initial psychological testing just to see what’s what. Now that everything seems to be going OK, I feel like maybe I’m overreacting with the whole professional help thing, but I know that it is still the best thing for him. Even if the worst is over, this still can only help him, not hurt.
• The kids expressed astonishment that there was CHRISTMAS stuff up at Target already. And when we were there yesterday they had already taken down the major Halloween setup. Ethan: “Don’t they know that Halloween isn’t even over yet???” I know, Ethan. I KNOW.

That’s it. I just leave you know with the conversation James and I had last night. I had just been blathering on and on about who knows what and after a short silence, this came out.

Oh, what sweet marital bliss:

me: God. I hate the sound of my voice. I don’t know how you can stand it. Blech. I wish I could just STOP TALKING.
..
james: (SILENCE.)
..
I look at him.
..
He looks at me.
..
I give him THE LOOK.
He grins.
james: I am racking up the points right now!
me: OH NO YOU ARE NOT!
james: What? I am too! I am totally keeping my mouth shut! You know what I COULD BE SAYING RIGHT NOW??
..
I fix him with a stony glare.
me: You are losing more points with every passing second, mister.
james: What??!!!
me, taking on a fake voice: “Oh, honey! Why would you say that? Don’t be so hard on yourself. You have a lovely voice! That’s why I married you! I love you! You’re perfect in every way!”
james laughs, and takes on his own fake voice: “I wish you would stop talking! You’ve been driving me nuts for the past 20 minutes! That voice is the voice that is going to drive me to my grave! That voice—”
I cut him off, and retort: LOSING POINTS. EVERY SECOND.
james just grins.
me: I’M TELLING THE INTERNET.

Internet, you have been duly informed.

-amy howls at the moon.

Well, it’s time to give more details, especially since the plot has thickened.

I am not making any excuses for my son. He has issues. But I kind of suspected that there was more going on in his after school care classroom than we, or even the teachers knew. I felt like some of the kids had pinned a “bad kid” label on him and were possibly even pushing his buttons to get a reaction. Now, I can’t back this up with anything, it’s just something I’ve noticed, and something James has noticed. One day last week, James was picking Ethan up who had spent some time in the office, when another kid came up to James and told him in a snarky voice, “Ethan got sent to the office today!” James said that Ethan was obviously bristled by this, and frankly, it pissed James off as well. I’ve noticed a few other things in the classroom as well, and I’ve tried to pass this on to the center’s director, while trying not to sound like I’m making excuses.

When the news came down that Ethan was no longer welcome at the daycare, we debated about what to do. For a long time now, I’ve wanted to be home when the kids were done with school for the day. If we were to find another daycare for him to attend after school, we would likely run into the same issues, at least in the interim. What would be best would be if we could arrange to be home by the time school is out. And if we can arrange that for the short term, why not arrange it for the long term? We both thought that this would be best for our family, regardless of what is going on with Ethan. And if we could work it out and keep it up, then when Jocelyn was in kindergarten, there would be no daycare situation at all, which is so much the better. We decided that there was no reason to tell Ethan that he was “no longer invited” to go to his daycare, which would only serve to lower his self esteem more than it already is. We simply told him that we had decided that it would be better for our family if we picked him and Jocelyn up early. It gives everyone more time at home together.

Well, James and I arranged our work schedules so that part of the week, he will get to work early enough to leave in time for when school’s out, and I will do the other part of the week. I had a trial run of sorts last week, and this week is the first full time go at this new routine. (Getting up early really sucks.) I emailed Ethan’s 1st grade teacher so she would be on the same page (with everything, our decision to seek professional help, no more afterschool care, etc.)

Today James was gone before it was fully light out, and I got everyone out the door (only going back twice for forgotten coat/hat/mittens & mommy’s ipod!) and was almost to work when James called me to tell me Ethan’s 1st grade teacher had emailed.

Of course my fears were instantly of bad behavior, but nothing was wrong. In that regard, anyway. No, what was wrong was that a girl in his class that also attended the afterschool daycare Ethan had, was telling him that he was kicked out, and that “somebody at the daycare had told her so.”

You can imagine how angry James and I were. How angry we ARE. First, I am angry at the school. She heard this from the school. Where do they get off telling anyone else why Ethan is no longer attending? And secondly, I’m mad at this kid. At all the kids who have pegged my son into this “bad kid” box and are now refusing to let him out of it. So, I called the daycare school and let them have it. I was so angry, I confessed, I yelled. And cried. And probably got a bit incoherent there at the end. I probably should not have called. The director denied that any of her teachers would tell any of the students that Ethan was no longer invited to attend. But I’m sorry, that girl didn’t say, “You must have been kicked out,” she said, “You got kicked out.” Someone told her something.

Jocelyn is doing fine there, so I’m a little torn, but frankly, I don’t feel that I can trust their teachers. James and I are debating whether or not to move Jocelyn elsewhere. We’re leaning towards elsewhere.

And I can’t stop shaking this morning. It just keeps on coming.

I should end on a good note. I am so glad and grateful for all the support that has come our way. Everyone has messaged me, twittered me, emailed me, facebooked me, expressing their sympathy and their offers to help in whatever way they could. You guys rock. I’m also grateful for Ethan’s 1st grade teacher and the school’s administration. They’ve been awesome.

Today is still going to really suck.