At dinner.

I ask about her tummy. As in, “How’s your tummy, is it full? Are you done eating?”

She replies, “It’s full mommy! Like when you ATE me and I was in YOUR TUMMY!”

I guess we need to straighten some things out about how babies get into mommies’ tummies. Ahem. Didn’t we have a few more years before we needed to have THAT talk?

Next.

Sometimes, when the kids need some motivation in the eating of the dinner, I “talk” for the food on their plate.

“Eat me! I’m so yummy and delicious! I want to be in your tummy!”

Now, let’s not get all existential here about the absurdity of food having a lifelong dream of being consumed.. it just works. The kids will be squabbling, or paying attention to the toy they can’t have at the table, and all of a sudden they’re laughing at the thought of food begging to be eaten and they will start to eat it and make their own voices for the various bits on their plate. I also do this for clothes that beg to be put on their bodies, toothbrushes that despareately need to rub up against teeth, and bathtubs wanting to have kids climb inside of them. To my credit, I have stopped short of toilets wanting to be peed in. SO FAR.

The other day when I was home with Jocelyn I suddenly heard her talking for some “play” food she had “made” in her kitchen.

“No! No! Don’t eat me! I don’t want to go into your tummy!” Pretty much the only thing she left off was the ‘help! help!’ and a maniacal cackle before she pretended to eat the protesting pretend food. I couldn’t stop laughing for 10 minutes.

Ahhhh kids.