Wilfred and Virginia

James‘ grandmother (Nana) passed away a few weeks ago on January 9, 2007, joining her husband (Pop-pop) who passed over a year ago. It was hard to imagine Nana all alone after Pop-pop died.

I never met James’ mother, who died while he was in college, but I met Nana and Pop-pop several times over the years. I like to think of the time we stayed with them for a few days one Thanksgiving, before Ethan was born. They both showed me over their home, the house that James visited in the summer when he was a little boy. Pop-pop took me to his woodworking shop, where the tools he had amassed during his lifetime were placed carefully on the pegboards lining the walls, every one in it’s place. Nana showed me over her kitchen and informed me proudly how she designed the layout herself. I exclaimed over the spice rack hanging inside her pantry door, and Pop-pop disappeared and came back with 2 more identical racks, which we took home with us. One we left in our old house when we moved, the other hangs in my pantry now. My efforts to get some family dinner recipes didn’t go over so well. There weren’t that many to be had. However, desserts and cookies, I came away with a notebook full. (Some of which I still can’t get “just right.“) They talked to us and each other with a sharp wit that was a bit unexpected, on my part. They made me laugh, and they made me feel loved and welcome.

There was no funeral for either grandparent. I think in the abstract, this idea always sort of appealed to me, but no longer. It would have been nice to go up and see family that we haven’t seen in a long time. It would have been nice to sit with them and reminisce about the lives of these two wonderful people. It would have been nice to hear more of the stories, collect more of the family recipes, sit and soak in more of the history of James’ family. It would have been nice to say goodbye and have some closure. I guess that is what this post is for me now.

I think of the pain they must have suffered when they lost their daughter, and I can’t even imagine going through it. I hope I never have to. Parents are supposed to go before their children.

I like to think of them together now, and reunited with their daughter, who is likewise reunited with James’ father.

May they rest in peace.