This lunch was sometime last year, and I wrote this up and then didn’t post it for whatever reason. I thought I’d post it now.

“Ooohhhh, the second trimester is the best. that’s the trimester when you get randy.”
“randy? what are you, from the 70s?”

“ooh, i want some of your corn stuff.”
“me too, me too!”
“hey that was my fork! you used my fork!”
“well, I promise I don’t have germs.”
“oh, i’m not afraid of your germs.”
“ok, then maybe after we could kiss a little.”

“get all the sex now, in the 2nd trimester, because it could be a YEAR after that baby is born.”
“A YEAR!?!” (heard from all males at the table, except the ones with kids. ok, only 2 males exclaimed.)
“well, that’s going a bit far, but definitely a few months.”
“look at him. we just ruined his day.”
“it is a lot easier with the 2nd and 3rd baby.”
“yes but this is his FIRST baby! we have to prepare him!”
“when i get home, i’m getting busy.”

“so how about you, when was the last time you’ve had sex?”

“seriously, why so long? a few MONTHS?”
“she needs time and she shouldn’t be pressured.”
“but why that long?”
“all i’m saying, is don’t pressure her.”
“and get some good lube.”

“you’re totally exhausted all the time, you usually are covered in assorted baby drool, spitup or poop..”
“you’ve got a baby and your breasts are being sucked on all the time!”
“hell, she’s got that now.”

“i think we should drink at every friday lunch.”
“if we get some lesbian action, i’m all for it.”