A year ago ?? Two years ago?

I think it was 2 years ago, because Jocelyn was a wee little baby then.

Why was I remembering 2 years ago? Oh yeah.

A year or two ago, when James informed me he was taking Saturday classes that summer, my heart dropped and my mind exploded and I thought I would sink into the depths of despair. My mind screamed in denial. Then it screamed in anger. I ALREADY HAVE TO WATCH THESE KIDS 5 DAYS A WEEK, 2 EVENINGS AND NOW YOU WON’T BE HERE SATURDAYS TOO??? I seriously felt so depressed I may have cried over it.

Before I go on, let me just say that this was during a period of time that James worked from home, and I stayed at home with the kids. It was a wonderful time, we would all get up around 7:30-8ish, shower/get dressed and then give daddy kisses as he headed down the stairs to work. He would come up now and then to go potty, we would all have lunch together, and whenever anyone was doing anything super cute (I know, how did he get ANY work done?) I would buzz him on the phone and he’d run up to come see.

So my (inner) cries of abandonment were really not too well founded. Except that the daily wear and tear of staying at home was obviously telling on my psyche.

I did something cool though. Despite my despair at the ruination of our weekends for the entire summer (and let me tell you, it really did ruin the summer. James would agree.) I decided to flip this situation on it’s head and do something fun every week. I tried to view it as a special time I got to take the kids somewhere cool and exciting. I tried to ignore the fact that I already had 5 other days with no James that I filled somehow without wanting to stick my head in the oven, and make Saturdays special.

The first day, I got everyone ready, packed the double stroller, some PBJs and drove into DC. We parked along the river, walked over by the round memorial (what, you don’t know which one I’m refering to? Bah! Sorry, the only name that keeps popping into my head is Jefferson and Lincoln, and I don’t think it’s either, it’s not on the mall) around the edge of the water, looking at the ducks, watching Ethan climbing UP and DOWN and UP and DOWN the steps of that one memorial that you can look over the water and see the white house (aren’t I helpful with all the names?) while I tried to hide behind a column and nurse Jocelyn. We watched folks playing football, we investigated every rock and twig and we saw a mother goose with a sweet little line of baby geese walking in a line just like a little goose-train.

It was a pretty nice day, and I remember feeling pleased on my way home. If I had just stayed home, I would have moped and gotten more depressed. I know that sometimes it is all about your choices, and not about how you feel, even when you don’t really feel like making that choice. It’s hard when you just want to wallow in the pity-party, but I decided to have fun, and dammit, I had fun.

I’m recalling all this because James went to his first class on Tuesday, and didn’t get home until 10pm. I’m not really depressed over this, but it was a nice summer with no classes, and it’s a bit of an adjustment to the new schedule. I thought about how Tuesday went, and am not particularly happy. I got the kids, got dinner ready, and then kind of lazed around reading a John Grisham book until bedtime while the kids played. Got them into bed w/out incident and then lazed around watching TV. I had the best intentions of cleaning the kitchen, but it got later and later and it wasn’t happening until James called and said, “YOU’RE CLEANING THE KITCHEN, AREN’T YOU??? YOU SHOULD CLEAN THE KITCHEN!” and then I got up and cleaned the kitchen.

I don’t know, I wasn’t sad, but I WAS wallowing a teeny bit. “Woe is me. James isn’t here, so I’ll just sit here and ignore my children and my dirty kitchen and read.”

Anyway, my point is, I think I need to rearrange my point of view on this whole no James 2x a week thing. Instead of feeling sorry for myself, feeling OH SO PUT UPON because I MUST CARE FOR OUR CHILDREN WITHOUT AID FOR 3 WHOLE HOURS, TWICE A WEEK, I’ve decided to view it as 2 nights when after the kids are in bed, I can do absolutely my own thing.

So the point to all this? I dedicate Tuesday and Thursday nights to craftiness! No more feeling sorry for myself, I shall look forward to these two nights as the nights I get creative, in whatever fashion I choose. I have been dipping my toes into some crafty projects lately, and some are still in the mid-way phase. Tonight I’m going to try to finish Jocelyn’s Hello Kitty pillow.

Next, I’ll finish the bears.

and THEN, THE WORLD! MUAHAHAHAHA!

– amy “NO MORE! TALE TO TELL!” be-damy

http://www.nexusmagazine.com/articles/soydangers.html

I’m not in a full fledged panic now (as I was before).

James pointed out the homepage of this website to me:

> *NEXUS is an international bi-monthly alternative news magazine,
> covering the fields of: Health Alternatives; Suppressed Science;
> Earth’s Ancient Past; UFOs & the Unexplained; and Government Cover-Ups. *

So, anyway.

I’ve been, ONCE AGAIN, trying to introduce Jocelyn to dairy. She can eat cheese. She can eat yogurt. But in the past, when she consumes milk (or close derivatives thereof, like mac and cheese (lots of milk in the powdery stuff, so even made with soy milk is no good) and kraft american cheese (let’s face it that stuff is basically congealed milk)) she gets the runny nose like you wouldn’t beleive that leads to a cough and fever and sometimes ear infections.

I was going super duper slow this time. The last 3 days, I’ve added 1 tablespoon of milk to her soy milk. that’s it. And only to one drink, not to all drinks.

All was going well, until last night, when Jocelyn woke up crying at 3am. That’s right. Snottified. She woke up again at 5am. I went in and held her in the rocker, all wrapped up in her pink blankie that my mom made for her when she was born.
“Are you sick Jocelyn?”
“Yes. I’m sick.”
“Is your tummy sick?” (touching her tummy)
“Yes, my tummy is sick.”
“Is your throat sick?” (touching her throat)
“Yes, my throat is sick.”
“Is your nose sick?” (touching her nose)
“Yes, my nose is sick.”
(mommy frowns)
“Are your legs legs sick?” (rubbing her legs)
“Yes. My legs are sick.”
“Are your feet sick?”
“Yes, my feet are sick.”
I don’t think I’d put her on the witness stand.

I’m exhausted this morning.

I sat and rocked her for a while, the sky still dark with night. She has always been such a good sleeper, that we never really had to get up with her in the night. Her curls were all flung every which way from sleep that she looked like a sweet adorable baby medusa. Finally I put her back in her bed and fetched some cough syrup for her. She slept the rest of the night (a whopping 2 hours). She is getting so big and capable and already knows how to instantly throw her big brother and thus, the rest of the household into a fuss. Where did my little baby girl go?

Anyway.

This no dairy thing is driving me INSANE. I really thought maybe this time she’d outgrown it.
Anyway.

-amy wishes she knew all the answers

Wonder Woman Sculpted Resin Hand Mirror

how fun is that?

pointed out by Slave to Target.

– amy, who had wonder woman underoos when she was 7. AND MISSES THEM.

We’ve had a nice summer.

Vacation is over. The kids start the official preschool (this week is just open daycare) next Tuesday and James starts school this week. He took the summer off from classes, and it has been NICE. Now that it is over, and we’ll go back to 2 days a week not really seeing him in the evenings, I can REALLY appreciate how nice it has been over the summer.

It has gotten me thinking about the things I want to do though. First off, once again, back on the Weight Watcher’s bandwagon. This summer has pretty much been crappy, although I’m happy to say that squinting down at the scale this morning, I was relieved. I could have gained 15 lbs (especially considering the fabulous food we had on vacation, and ice cream every other night) but still seem to be hovering at 265. OK, 268.5, to be exact. Can I tell you how hard it is to actually post real live numbers here? It is hard. However, looking at me, you’d know I am grossly overweight, so really, who am I trying to kid. So, skinny page is going back up (I took it down a while ago). Project Skinny back ON, baby.

As a way to try to keep myself on track, I’m starting a new page on the side, where I’ll be tracking what I eat along with points values and exercise. I went grocery shopping yesterday and bought a lot of stuff that will help me stay on track – I know from experience that a big part is to get RID of stuff that is going to tempt me, and keep stuff around that will be good for me. I was going to make my lunch today, and for the week, but didn’t get to it yesterday, so I’m going to try to do that tonight. Subway will be my friend today at lunch.

I also would really love to learn more about photography. I’m debating whether or not to take a photography class from NOVA, or take the Canon 20D/30D PhotoSafari thingee next month. Maybe I could do both.

I also want to take a sewing class. I have very basic skills from 8th grade home ec, and as I look at some projects I would like to do, I think I’d like to take a beginning sewing class to see what exactly I don’t know. G Street Fabrics has a few – anyone else know of a place that offers beginning sewing?

And this is kind of out in left field, but I would like to take a basic carpentry class. This is one that I am not interested in doing right away, but maybe sometime next year I could find and take a class. I think it would be interesting. Right now, my interests lay more in the sewing/crafty projects than the wood projects though. Someday.

I’m looking forward to fall. I’m so glad it has cooled down, although it could still come down another 10 degrees and I’ll be happy. Ethan will also be excited – that boy LOVES to wear pants and long sleeves. I brought along his favorite long pants/sleeves outfit in case we met up with a chilly day on our vacation, and on our way home from the Pequot Native American Museum last Thursday, it was raining cats and dogs. Despite James running for the car and pulling it up in front, we all got soaked (although, not as soaked as James). So when we got back to the yellow house, I pulled those clothes out of my bag* for him and he SQUEALED in delight. Then he wanted to sleep in them that night. Then he wanted to wear them the next day. We compromised and said he could wear them the next day IF it was cool enough and IF he put jammies on for the night and he was in heaven.

* I had to put them in my bag, because if he had seen them, if he had even been AWARE of them, he would have wanted to wear them and would have thrown a fit to have them and our entire vacation would have been RUINED! RUINED I SAY! He just loves snuggly clothes. He gets it from me, I think. The number of times he has tried to convince me (in the middle of 100+ degree weather) that it would be FINE for him to wear pants to school is just funny. He will be so happy when I bring all of his long sleeved stuff down from the top shelf in his closet.

– amy forgot her headphones this morning. First mornings back to work suck. Especially with no head phones.

So, we are home. We left the “yellow house” (as Ethan called it) at 9am Saturday morning, and got home about 7ish. Hit yucky traffic in NY and also in DE, of all places. The kids didn’t sleep in the car at all and despite the constant TV entertainment, they were really cranky as we drove through our neighborhood to our house. Ethan was so wound up he cried several times before going to sleep.

First thing I did: go grocery shopping.

Second thing I did: Water everything in my yard, except the grass. It’s brown. Oh well. It’ll come back. My neighbor watered for me once while we were away, and our cat sitter watered everytime she came as well – everything looks pretty good. Tomatoes – yum. I’d forgotten how good they were.

Third thing (and actually, first, since I started on it last night) go through mail / bills / finances.

And now, here I am, blogging. I managed to hold off until it is FOURTH! Astonishing!
Hey, look all those blurry camera phone pictures showed up! Some even look pretty good. Shocking! I looked a few times on James’ uber fancy phone, and the images weren’t showing up, so I worried. Never fear, we have lots of non-camera-phone images that I’m sure I’ll be sharing as well.

Speaking of photos. A little experiment I did early on showed me just HOW little I know about taking pictures. I usually just keep it on the “P” setting on my Canon 30D with RAW pictures, and then fiddle with some other stuff.. I took a shot of the sound, and then on a whim, switched it to the little landscape preset setting, and took another shot. Of course, the landscape shot turned out much much better than the first. I need to learn about all the things that camera can actually DO. Anyone want to a) show me or b) take a class with me?

It’s naptime now, but I can hear Jocelyn calling upstairs, “I WANT TO GET OUT! I WANT TO GET OUT!” They’ve been in their rooms for a while, so I guess I’ll go get them out.

I’m sure I’ll write more later. At GREAT length. Y’all will be wishing for the blurry camera pictures to come back.

-amy