• Silicon lube, and silicon toys, do not go together. If you try to use them both at once, you will end up with a big glob of unusable silicon. So please, people, try to keep your lube and your cock rings and your vibrators and dildos all straight.
• some dildos come with very powerful suction cups, which can then be used to thwack your plastic shlong onto a handy surface for use, such as the headboard, the shower wall, the bathroom floor, the bathtub, etc.
• there are THREE DIFFERENT TYPES of lube. water based, silicon based, and some other kind that I can’t remember. Also, if you’re prone to yeast infections, stick with glycerin-free.

Here are the many ways in which the vagina was referred to throughout the evening:

• hoo-ha
• hoo-nanny
• Princess *
• Her Royal Highness
• Noonee *
• “area”

There were some other ones, but they were the usual words used to refer to this area, and are therefore boring.

*That’s right, I used “princess,” just because it’s hilarious to say, “My princess is scared of that thing on page 18” – it just cracks me up. I also used Noonee, because of the SNL skit with the woomba. Tina Fey rocks.

I am totally taking my catalog to the next neighborhood bunko party. Forget Party Lite and Southern Living, it’s time for a Temptations sex toy party! Yee-ha! – amy hopes her parents don’t read this. if so, oh well.