(Originally posted on a temporary blog account until the server was back up.)

I have a whole list of things that I’ve been dying to write about but couldn’t because our server was down, and thus, no blog. “Why didn’t you just write it anyway and save it until you could post it?” Well, because I’m weird and if it’s just me that’s reading it, then why bother. Yes, that’s right, I think the reason why people have blogs and websites in general all goes back to wanting to be famous. We all wanted to be a rock-star or an actor or the president when we grew up, right? And why would we want that? Because they’re famous. So there you go, Kottke, the reason why folks have secret sites? It’s because we all want to be famous. Secretly Famous! And if they’re not secret, then the more famouser we are. Wheeee, internet!

So, to get back to this list. First off, you’ll be happy to know that there is no longer the nasty smelling tube of Mary Kay hand lotion in the ladies room at my office. I don’t know if it got used up or someone else was annoyed and had more balls than me and just pitched it, but it’s gone. Now, whenever I walk into the bathroom, there’s a faint minty smell. At first I thought it must be whatever cleanser they use in the toilets, but whoever heard of a minty toilet cleaner? Lemon-fresh, sure, but never minty. The toilet bowl cleanser marketing people probably ruled taht one out, as they don’t want anyone to think, “That smells so good I could LICK IT.” Maybe someone is brushing their teeth in there all hours of the day because it is ALWAYS minty smelling, not just in those few hours after lunch when the teeth brushing would occur.

I’m very grateful that the hand lotion is gone because lately I feel as if SMELLS! ARE ATTACKING! MY NOSTRILS! I have stopped using any hair spray (not that there was a lot of use of it in the past, but now, none at all) and I unwrapped a candle the other night and had to put it in another room because of the strong scent was accosting my nasal passages. It wasn’t even lit, just the smell from the scenty wax.

I was ironing these thin curtain things to hang up on our four-poster bed* when my mom called, and when she heard what I was doing, she suggested I use some linen water instead of the starch I was using. I have various bottles of scented water that she has given me over the years that I always forget I have, but they’re very nice and faint and a little spritz with lavender water on a freshly changed bed is nice come night-time, so I immediately went and fetched the bottle of sweet-pea linen water (it’s water for linens, do you think the linen water police will come get me for using it on curtains? I guess curtains could fall under the linen category) and started using it. And immediately, the sweet wonderful fragrance (it really did smell super!) did it’s number on my nose and I couldn’t breathe and my eyes watered and I had to stop using the pretty water and switch back to starch. Honestly. Can I get another nose please? This one is broken.

Speaking of pitching and mary kay, I don’t think I ever told you about the envelope that was in that same bathroom a few months ago. I saw it and ignored it during a few trips until finally my curiousity got the better of me and I opened it and peeped inside. It wasn’t sealed or anything. Inside, there was a letter to “Dear New Client!” from a Mary Kay consultant and had a smallish brochure of products. Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not one to diss Mary Kay or anything, but come on! Leaving brochures in the ladies room?! Can’t you take out an ad or something if you’re that desperate for clients? I actually did throw that one away, and looked around all surreptitiously. Maybe the consultant worked in my office. Maybe she was spying, waiting to see what would happen to her line thrown out in the darkness. Would it hook her a little new client fish? OK, I’m stopping with the bad analogies now, (“thank god!” -oh shut up) and stopping with this story because, yeah, it’s dumb.

* Our bed has posts at each corner and then wooden slats that go across the top of each posts that make it look kind of like a canopy bed but without the canopy. I got these curtainy things some time ago, but never got around to actually putting them up again when we moved, 2 years ago. Oh I am ON THE BALL, only takes 2 years for me! Needless to say, they were very wrinkled.

I know this webspace is temporary, but it’s nice to have someplace to post again. Hopefully these words will be tucked into their own little beds at their own little home again soon.

amy smoothes your hair, kisses your forehead, and leaves the closet light on when she leaves.