When I was a teenager, I had very specific fashion ideas. Anything My Mother Would Not Like. This mostly included cut-off jeans (even if they were long, I cut off the cuffs at the bottom (I liked fraying), and more often bleached weird designs on them) t-shirts and pointy shoes.

As I grew up (HA! I’m grown up? HAHA!) I loved the jobs that allowed me to wear jeans and t-shirts.

I am currently at a job where I have to look nice and can wear jeans on fridays. I don’t mind it, actually, though there are days when the second thing I say (the first is always, “JOCELYN JOCELYN!” in reply to her “MOMMY MOMMY!”) is “I’m going upstairs to replace these clothing items with pajamas.”

So I get up and try to assemble an outfit that looks reasonable nice at 6:30 in the morning, and some days I get it ok, and other days I look at myself at noon and wonder, “What was I smoking?” And then other days I look at myself and just wonder why I wasn’t blessed with the fashion gene. Mostly it’s the stockings and shoes that mystify me. I look at the blouse and the skirt and think, “that’s ok” and then I wonder if the black tights work ok. Can you wear black tights* and black shoes with everything? How about white tights? When do you wear one color and not the other and vice versa? For some reason I always think the black tights looks odd, but the off-white looks good. And then I wonder if there’s some strange rule about not wearing off-white tights after labor day or something and I just long for warmer days so I can make sure my legs are shaved and not bother with tights.

Today is a tights-wondering day, as well as an outfit wondering day. Does this sage-green shirt really look all right with my plum-maroony skirt? Will someone just come to my house every morning and dress me? Because I don’t think I trust my judgement. I’ve seen my house.

* I don’t like the word “nylons” and I especially abhor the term “hose” or “panty hose” *SHUDDER* so please assume that my use of the word “tights” encompasses all things sock/stocking-like that goes on your legs. While we’re discussing the words used for articles of clothing, let me also go on the record on the use of the word “panties” Unless you’re under age eight, there’s no need to call them this. They are underwear, people.

I’ll leave you with a short but Cute Ethan Episode story. It was Tuesday and as soon as I picked him up from school, he was talking talking talking and Would! Not! Stop! with the strange questions.

“Are we going by the towers?”
“Yes, we are.”
“Why?”
“Because this is the way home.”
“But I want to go straight.”
“Well, we have to turn honey, to get home.”
“Why?”
“I already told you why, Ethan.”
“Let’s go straight. We can turn around, mommy.”
“Yes, we could, but not today. We’re going this way today.”
“Why?”

– and thus, the token parental phrase jumped to my tongue.. Even as I said it, I did not want to say it. It was an internal battle: exhaustion and the uselessness of this discussion vs. the desire to not squash my child’s spirit.. Sad to say, the exhaustion won..

“Because I said so.”

It’s always WHY WHY WHY ALL THE FREAKIN’ time. I don’t mind, usually, but even when I don’t, it is fairly exhausting. Who would have thought that just talking can be exhausting? It is, though. Just before we were turning into our neighborhood, he had a lapse of quiet, just listening to the cd that was playing, and I yawned a huge, jaw-dislocating yawn, and then he yawned as well.

*mommy yawns.*
*ethan yawns.*
ethan: “I look tired, mommy.”
me: “Yeah. I look tired too.”

Jocelyn is doing much better. However, her home daycare lady’s daughter is suspected of having chicken pox. Jocelyn received an immunization for the chicken pox (doesn’t that seem vaguely wrong? Isn’t everyone supposed to have to go through this at some point as part of the childhood experience?) and even a phone call to her doctor confirmed that she can go ahead to daycare, but unfortunately, daycare lady decided to close daycare for today and tomorrow. It’s something we knew going in, that if we go with a home daycare, that this sort of thing can happen. I’ve already used up all the comp/admin time I have, and James stayed home with her yesterday, so it kind of sucks. James is scrambling to see if he can line something up for her tomorrow. I hate the idea of her going to a strange place all day with people she doesn’t know. I know she will be miserable, but what can you do? Ugh.

Jocelyn is very adamant about what she wants, and does not want. If I offer her something she doesn’t want, she will start hollering, “NO! NO! NO!” until I say to her, “just say, ‘No thank you!'” and she stops, and says, “doedankuum!” and trots off happily. Tantrum averted. I think I’ve mentioned this before, but everything is also, “Awesome. Mommy. Awesome.”

Off to work.

– amy looks tired in her mismatched outfit with wrong colored tights.