It’s been an exciting day, here at the Panders’ household. Except that we weren’t actually in the house when any of it happened, but you get the idea.

First up. Health. And a Project Skinny Update.

I wrenched a muscle in my back on Saturday night. You can probably noodle through exactly what I was doing when it got wrenched. Ahem. It showed up Sunday, and DAMN did it hurt. The knotted muscle was just under/to the side of my shoulder blade, but it was knotted so badly that it radiated all through my back and shoulder and down my arm and even through my rib cage and made it hard to breath, if i was slouching. Monday was no better. I woke up feeling GREAT, and even told James that it appeared to have unkinked. By the time I got to work, however, I was dying. I took two Aleve, and another by the end of the afternoon. The total you’re supposed to take in a 24 hour period is 3. I’ve never taken 3 in a 24 hr period. By night fall I was in agony. My arm felt like I had carpal tunnel syndrome, and my neck kept twanging strangely and it brought on a massive headache. By last night at bedtime, I decided I was going to the doctor, because I just couldn’t take it anymore.

So on the way to work, I called to make an appointment. I switched insurance when I got my job, so I haven’t been to the doctor I selected as my primary care before. Because of this, I couldn’t just see the nurse practitioner, I had to see the Dr., and the receptionist informed me that the earliest time open was February 10th. I was literally flabbergasted. I couldn’t seem to form words.

her: “We have an opening on February 10th.”
me: *silence, and then* “But…. I’m….. How….”
her: …..
me: *trying to form a coherent sentence* “But I’m sick now.”
(I’m sick now? What am I, four?)
her: …..
me: “I just.. I don’t… I … Should I find another doctor then, I just.. I don’t know how to respond to that.”
her: “Hold on a minute.”

She put on someone else, who listened to me whine and then told me they’d try to fit me in at 11am.

So I went to the doctor’s office, early of course, because there’s always new patient paperwork. I filled it all out, being careful to mark everything correctly especially in those, “Do you feel anxiety, sadness, or agitation with no explicit reason?” type questions. Here’s my chance to make sure I’m basically evaluating myself correctly. I went in and did the usually nurse flibber flabber, and then saw the doctor. first we discussed the back issues. I cannot lift my children, under any circumstance. I knew this. Jocelyn weighs 30 lbs, and she’s not even two. I am going to have to really really really try to remember this. Ethan is 40 lbs, and I lift him up and down every day into the truck. Ugh. She gave me some muscle relaxers too, that I can use 3x a day if they don’t make me lose focus, and if so, then just 1x a day, before bed. I can feel them working already.. Ahhhhh..

So, next, we discussed the mental health, which I had noted. I told her about last summer how I really was doing poorly, but going back to work seemed to alleviate a lot of that. I explained how it seems to come on about once a month, and she suggested it might be premenstrual. James and I discussed that too, once, and I told him I’d rather be crazy then have it all be PMS. James of course would rather be able to blame the hormones than a crazy brain, but then that’s a man. All the men who are reading this are probably nodding along with the James take, but I don’t know, it’s just FRUSTRATING, when you vent and storm and get all crazy and then have ALL YOUR EMOTIONS INVALIDATED by someone saying, “Oh, it’s just PMS.” It kind of invalidates YOU, and that sucks. I can see how it would be nice to not be crazy, but it is just as not nice to have yourself and your feelings totally ignored and labeled under “PMS.” SUCKS. I’d rather be crazy, and get to OWN these emotions and actions. But there it is, could just be hormones. Anyway, she said it sounded fine, and if it seemed to get out of control to come see her and we would work it out.

Then, she asked about the general health issues in the past, and I told her about the 2 c-sections, and the gall bladder going out. I hadn’t brought up my weight, so she did, and I quickly told her that I AM working on it, and I have managed to lose 10 pounds since Thanksgiving, but that I was getting frustrated and it was very hard. That is when she suggested an appetite suppressant. (!!!) Honestly, I didn’t think there really was this sort of thing around anymore. I was skeptical at first, but she talked me into it. The downside is that they do beat up on your heart, but as she said, carrying around this extra weight is much worse for my heart. The usual dosage is to take them every day, but she wanted me to take them 5x a week instead, to give my body a break now and then. I had an EKG to make sure I was good to go for them, and I am also going to go back in 6 weeks. It’ll be good motivation to really stay on track.

So, I will state my goal right here! March 7th, is 6 weeks from today.

My goal is to lose 12 lbs by March 7th. that is 2 lbs per week, a very doable goal.

So, trip to the doctor = good. SHe was very nice, very knowledgeable, very good communicator. Muscle relaxed obtained, currently doing their trick on the back, YAY! (Oh my god, you have no idea how much better I feel already). Mental Check – not crazy, if I get crazier, check back in. Project skinny has got the a-ok by the Dr. and now I have a secret weapon in my corner to help out.

So, good day! Cool! I’m feeling good!

But this was actually the LEAST of the goodness that happened today!

This is a long post, so I’m going to break it up into to, because I especially don’t wnat the next part buried at all, because if anything it’s way cooler than me going to the doctor!

So, continued.